Im having such a down period right now, i just really feel like running away from everything. It’s hard to keep your head up all the time without a break at the end you head will fall down. That’s really how it is for me right now, im constantly keeping my head up, keeping a fake smile and pretend everything is fine. But im not fine not at all, i hate the town i live in always have too that only cuz everyone here is fake, bullshit talking people and my so called friends here aren’t many and they are never there when i need them, i miss my real friends i miss them so much it hurts inside of me but all of my real friends live like 25miles away from me (its not that far away but you need cash to go) and i barely never get to see them i saw some of them in the beginning in march and before that it almost had gone 2 years but no matter how long time it goes they are always there and its like it was yesterday we all meet and hang around. I barely never get to see them cuz I got my daughter and most of my friends live in really small apartments or still with there parents wich make it impossible to take my daughter with me and my mom is a bitch and barely never want to babysit my daughter she says she has no problem babysitting her but when i ask her for it she always says no or are really annoyed over having to do it. Im still feeling like shit after my break up with my boyfriend we broke up in the beginning of march and after we broke up i got to know that he had been cheating on me for weeks and it really hurts to know cuz knowing the person you loved only told you lies and didn’t mean a shit of what he said really crush you i don’t have any feelings for him anymore but it’s the cheating, lies that gets to me it makes me feel like im worthless like im not worth more than getting treated like shit. Im also fucking worn out being a single mom and going around keeping my head up all the time, im so fuckin tierd of needing to do it i don’t want to going around pretending everything is fine i want everything to be fine, i don’t want to walk around feeling like im having a huge lump in my stomach anymore.

Haha oh well last night i had a friend over and we was talking about alot of shit and all of a sudden we got in on shisha and then I got reminded that I should have bought one like months ago but had completely forgotten about it so yeah I ordered one last night.
Happy it’s like forever since I smoked shisha (a) 

(and yes i ordered one cuz i live in like the smallest town ever and we don’t really have any shops around here that sells shisha so)